how to play lets get deep

February 18, 2026

Here’s how to play Let’s Get Deep in a simple, date‑night‑friendly way.

What is “Let’s Get Deep”?

“Let’s Get Deep” is a conversation card game for couples (and sometimes small groups) that uses progressively more personal questions to help you connect, reflect, and learn new things about each other. It’s designed for adults (usually 17+) and typically played by two people.

What’s in the box?

You’ll usually find:

A deck of question cards divided into:
- Ice Breaker
- Deep
- Deeper
In some editions, Activity cards (fun little prompts to do together)
A brief rule/instruction sheet

Most sets have hundreds of cards total, with each category getting more personal as you move from Ice Breaker → Deep → Deeper.

Basic setup (2 minutes)

Silence distractions
- Put phones away or on silent so you can focus on each other.

Sort the cards
- Separate into three piles: Ice Breaker , Deep , Deeper (and a fourth Activity pile if your version includes them).

 * Shuffle each pile separately.

Place the piles
- Put the piles face‑down within easy reach of both of you.

Decide how long to play
- You can play a set number of rounds (for example, 3–5 rounds), or “until we feel done.”

Choose who starts
- Common house rule: the person who made the “first move” in the relationship draws first.

Core gameplay: standard couple mode

A “round” is usually built around a fixed mix of card levels. A common, widely suggested format is:

1 Ice Breaker card
2 Deep cards
2 Deeper cards
Optional: 1 Activity card (if included)

Step‑by‑step turn flow

First player draws cards
- Draw in this order:
  - 1 Ice Breaker
  - 2 Deep
  - 2 Deeper
  - Optional: 1 Activity

Read and answer the Ice Breaker
- The person who drew the card reads it aloud and answers first.
- Then the other player answers the same question.

Move to Deep questions
- Do the same pattern: draw/flip a Deep card, one partner answers, then the other.

Then the Deeper questions
- These are more intimate, emotional, or revealing.
- Again, card reader answers first, then their partner.

Do an Activity (if your deck has them)
- Examples include collaborative tasks like making a mini bucket list or doing a quick, silly challenge together.

Switch the drawer and start a new round
- After finishing that set of cards, the other person becomes the drawer and you repeat the pattern.

Alternate “looser” way to play

Some people don’t worry about a fixed mix per round and instead:

Take turns drawing any card from any pile they feel like (Ice Breaker, Deep, Deeper, or Activity).
Read the card, everyone answers, move on.
Gradually shift toward deeper cards as you feel more comfortable.

This works well if you’re:

On an early date and want to go slower
In a group/double date setting
Using only one category (for example, all Ice Breakers for something very light)

How the game “ends”

There’s no traditional scoring or winner.

You usually stop when:

You both feel you’ve learned “enough for tonight”
You’ve done a pre‑agreed number of rounds
You’re tired or want to switch to something else

Some rule summaries even suggest playing until you could “start answering the questions for each other,” which is a fun soft goal.

Special rules & boundaries (important)

Most rule explanations and official‑style guides repeat the same key safety and respect ideas:

Skip option
- You can always skip a question if it feels uncomfortable and draw a replacement from the same pile.
Follow‑up questions are optional
- You’re allowed to ask “why?” or “tell me more,” but the other person can decline to go deeper.
Respect boundaries
- Emotional safety beats “full honesty” every time. Don’t pressure your partner into sharing something they clearly don’t want to.

No judging or scoring
- There’s no point system; the “win” is meaningful conversation and connection.

Example mini‑round

Imagine you’re doing one full round with the standard pattern:

You draw 1 Ice Breaker, 2 Deep, 2 Deeper, and 1 Activity.

You read the Ice Breaker question, answer it, then your partner answers.
You go through Deep question #1, then #2 the same way.
You go through Deeper questions #1 and #2, sharing in turn.
You reveal the Activity card and complete it together.

Next round, your partner draws a new set and you repeat.

That’s it—you’re basically stacking structured prompts on top of a normal conversation.

Playing with friends or on a double date

While it’s marketed for couples, many descriptions note it can be adapted for:

Double dates
Small friend groups
Families (if everyone’s comfortable with the question content)

Common tweaks:

One player draws and reads the card; then everyone answers in order.

You may want to avoid the most intimate Deeper cards in a mixed group and focus more on Ice Breaker/Deep.

Let people say “pass” without explanation.

Tips for the best experience

Many guides and reviewers highlight similar pointers for making the game feel good instead of awkward:

Set the mood
- Cozy date‑night setting, comfortable seating, maybe snacks or a drink.
Start lighter than you think
- Use more Ice Breakers at first, then gradually work into Deep and Deeper.
Be present
- Listen actively, make eye contact, don’t rush to the next card.
Check in with each other
- If a question hits a nerve, pause, talk about it gently, or skip it.
Customize the format
- You can change how many cards you draw each round or play only from one category (for example, all Deep cards).

Quick reference: how to play “Let’s Get Deep”

Separate and shuffle the three piles: Ice Breaker, Deep, Deeper (plus Activities if included).

Decide how many rounds or roughly how long you want to play.

One partner starts by drawing 1 Ice Breaker, 2 Deep, 2 Deeper, and optionally 1 Activity.

Card drawer answers first, then the other partner answers the same prompt.

Switch who draws each round.
Use the skip rule and respect boundaries at all times.

End whenever you both feel done; there’s no score.

Information gathered from public forums or data available on the internet and portrayed here.