what does emily post say about self respect

Quick answer

Emily Post’s core teaching on self‑respect is that it’s as important as respect for others , and that good manners arise from consideration, respect, and honesty —with self‑respect meaning you’re secure, not boastful or pushy , and that you value yourself for your integrity and character , not just looks or talents.

What Emily Post actually says

In the Emily Post Institute’s explanation of “The Principles of Etiquette,” self‑respect is explicitly named alongside respect for others as a foundation of good manners. The key points are:

• Self‑respect = inner security, not arrogance.
  A person who respects herself is described as “not boastful or pushy” but instead “secure in a way that inspires confidence in others.”

• Worth is tied to character, not surface traits.
  Self‑respect means valuing yourself “regardless of physical attributes or individual talents,” because “integrity and character are what really matter.”

• Etiquette flows from three principles: consideration, respect, and honesty.
  Self‑respect is the internal counterpart to outward respect for others; together they ground all manners.

The 18th edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette echoes this almost word‑for‑word: “Self‑respect is equally crucial as respect for others,” and a self‑respecting person “exudes a confidence that inspires trust,” appreciating herself beyond “physical features or specific abilities.”

How this shows up in everyday behavior

While Post doesn’t reduce self‑respect to a checklist, her framework implies behaviors like:

• Setting boundaries politely (saying no without being rude).
• Presenting yourself with care (dress, speech, and conduct that reflect self‑regard).
• Owning mistakes and apologizing sincerely—honesty is one of her core principles.

• Avoiding self‑deprecation as a habit , because it undermines the “secure confidence” she associates with self‑respect.

One‑line takeaway

For Emily Post, good manners are the outward expression of inner respect—for others and for yourself ; self‑respect is the quiet confidence that lets you act with consideration and honesty without needing to boast or put others down.

TL;DR: Emily Post says self‑respect is just as vital as respect for others; it shows as calm confidence, not arrogance, and it means valuing your integrity and character above looks or talents.

Information gathered from public forums or data available on the internet and portrayed here.