Most people start feeling noticeably better from a breakup in about 3 months, but deeper healing can take anywhere from a few months up to a year or more depending on the relationship and what else is going on in life. Longer, more serious relationships or breakups involving living together, engagement, or marriage often take closer to a year or beyond to fully process, while shorter relationships may hurt intensely but usually ease sooner.

Quick Scoop

  • There is no single ā€œnormalā€ timeline; healing ranges roughly from 10ā€“12 weeks for many average relationships to well over a year for longā€‘term or divorceā€‘level breakups.
  • Some therapists and relationship experts describe three tiers: under 9 months together (often 1ā€“3 months to feel significantly better), about 9 monthsā€“2 years (3ā€“6 months), and 3ā€“10 years (6ā€“12 months or more).
  • Your pace depends on factors like how attached you felt, who ended it, whether there was betrayal, your support system, mental health, and how actively you work on coping.

What ā€œgetting over itā€ really means

  • For many people, ā€œgetting over a breakupā€ does not mean never thinking of the person again; it means the breakup no longer controls your mood or daily choices.
  • Research on heartbreak suggests that around the 10ā€“12 week mark many people report less intense distress and more positive emotions like relief, confidence, and hope.

Typical timelines (not a rule)

  • Shorter relationships (under ~9 months): pain often starts easing in 1ā€“3 months if you limit contact, lean on support, and build new routines.
  • Medium relationships (~9 monthsā€“2 years): many people need around 3ā€“6 months to feel more stable and able to think of their ex without constant emotional flooding.
  • Longā€‘term or marriageā€‘like relationships: it is common for meaningful healing to take 6ā€“12 months or longer; some studies on divorce find averages around 17ā€“18 months to feel truly ā€œover it.ā€

Things that speed (or slow) healing

  • You are likely to move through it faster if you:
    • Reduce or cut contact, especially no lateā€‘night checking messages or social media.
* Maintain sleep, food, movement, and some structure in your day, even if minimal.

* Talk honestly with friends, a therapist, or support groups instead of isolating.
  • Healing can take longer if you:
    • Keep reopening the wound with frequent contact, stalking social media, or reā€‘reading old chats.
    • Have other major stressors (work, family, health) or a history of anxiety/depression that the breakup amplifies.

If you feel stuck

  • If it has been many months and you still feel as raw as week one, find it hard to function, or have thoughts of selfā€‘harm, it is important to reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted person immediately.
  • Online and inā€‘person therapy, breakup support communities, and crisis lines exist specifically to help people through intense relationship loss, and using them is a sign of strength, not failure.

TL;DR: Most people start turning a corner around 3 months, but for big, serious relationships it is completely normal if it takes closer to a year or more to truly feel ā€œoverā€ the breakup.