The term “femboy” did not start as a slur in its modern community use, but it has been used derogatorily since at least the 1990s for men seen as too feminine. Sources describe the word as emerging by the 1990s, with later internet use shifting it into a self-described identity and subculture.

What changed

  • In older usage, it could be insulting toward feminine men, especially when aimed at someone else rather than self-identified.
  • By the late 2000s and especially the 2010s, online communities began using it more positively as an identity label.
  • Today, whether it feels like a slur depends heavily on context, speaker intent, and whether the person being described actually uses the term for themselves.

Practical takeaway

If you’re asking “when did it become a slur,” the most accurate answer is: it was never only a slur, but it has had insulting use since the 1990s. In modern LGBTQ+ and internet spaces, it is often treated as a neutral or affirming label for feminine-presenting men, not a slur by default.

TL;DR

  • Origin: 1990s.
  • Early use: often derogatory.
  • Modern use: often self-identified , not inherently a slur.