When offering help to a friend with a mental health condition, avoid trying to “fix” them, judging or minimizing their experience, or pushing past your own limits; instead, aim to be calm, respectful, and realistic about what you can offer.

Big things to avoid

  • Don’t dismiss or minimize what they say
    Avoid phrases like “others have it worse,” “you’re overthinking,” or “just be positive,” which can make them feel ashamed or misunderstood.
  • Don’t give oversimplified advice or pep talks
    Saying “cheer up,” “snap out of it,” or offering quick fixes ignores that mental health conditions are real health problems, not attitude issues.

How not to talk to them

  • Don’t say you know exactly how they feel
    Even if you’ve struggled yourself, their experience is unique, and comparisons can feel invalidating or competitive.
  • Don’t pressure them to talk or answer lots of questions
    Grilling them or insisting they “tell you everything now” can increase anxiety; open, gentle invitations to talk work better.

Boundaries you should not cross

  • Don’t try to diagnose or play therapist
    Guessing their condition or labeling them can be confusing or scary; encourage professional help instead of acting like a clinician.
  • Don’t push past their “no” or try to control their choices
    Forcing them into treatment, outings, or disclosures can damage trust; offer options and support, but let them set the pace when it’s not an emergency.

Ways you might accidentally make it about you

  • Don’t guilt-trip or blame them for how you feel
    Saying “you’re stressing me out” or “after all I’ve done for you” increases their sense of burden and may make them withdraw.
  • Don’t disappear completely, but also don’t overextend
    Swinging between smothering and vanishing can be destabilizing; steady, realistic support with clear boundaries is healthier for both of you.

Safety and crisis considerations

  • Don’t ignore comments about self-harm or suicide
    Take any mention of wanting to die or hurt themselves seriously and reach out for urgent professional or emergency help if you’re worried they’re in immediate danger.
  • Don’t try to manage a serious crisis alone
    Involving crisis lines, emergency services, or trusted adults/professionals is crucial when safety is at risk; your role is support, not sole rescuer.

Information gathered from public forums or data available on the internet and portrayed here.