“Who do you need who do you love” is best known as the central repeated question from the chorus of Duran Duran’s song “Come Undone.” It’s used as an emotional hook about who truly matters to you when everything in your life feels like it’s falling apart—when you “come undone.”

What the phrase is asking

At its core, the line pushes two separate but connected ideas:

  • Who do you need?
    This is about dependence and support: who you rely on when you’re vulnerable, scared, or overwhelmed.
  • Who do you love?
    This is about deeper emotional attachment: who you actually feel love for, which is not always the same as the people you lean on.

Commentary on the song often points out that needing and loving someone can be different: you can love someone who isn’t good for you, or need someone you don’t truly love. That tension is part of what makes the line feel unresolved and haunting.

The “come undone” context

In “Come Undone,” the repeated question appears as the singer describes emotional collapse and fragility, with phrases like “falling apart at the seams” and “taking my heart to pieces.” Critics and breakdowns describe “come undone” as:

  • Losing control or breaking down emotionally
  • Feeling like your life or identity is unraveling
  • Reaching a point where your usual defenses no longer hold

In that state, the chorus asks: when you are no longer holding it together, who is actually there for you—and who do you truly care about?

How people interpret it

Song analyses and fan discussions tend to read the line in a few ways:

  • As a question about your true support system : when the façade drops, which people stay, and which disappear.
  • As a question about self-knowledge : coming undone can force you to admit who you really love and need, even if you were hiding it from yourself.
  • As part of a love story under stress : one reading is that the song is about a relationship tested by fear, change, or outside pressure, and the question quietly asks whether this person is your real anchor.

Some commentary notes that the song doesn’t give an answer, only the repeated questioning, which reinforces a feeling of uncertainty and emotional chaos.

Usage beyond the song

Because the line is memorable, people reuse “who do you need, who do you love” in:

  • Social posts or captions reflecting on relationships or breakups
  • Discussions about mental health and support, as a way of asking who someone can genuinely turn to
  • Titles or prompts in blogs and forums about love, attachment, and identity

Wherever it appears, it usually keeps that same emotional weight: the question of who remains when everything else falls away.

TL;DR:
“Who do you need who do you love” comes from Duran Duran’s “Come Undone,” and it’s a pointed, open-ended question about who you truly rely on and care for when your life feels like it’s unraveling.