Benedict asks Sophie to be his mistress because, in their Regency-era world, he believes he cannot marry a woman of her social class, so he tries to “solve” his feelings by offering her a kept but unofficial position in his life.

Context: Who Benedict and Sophie Are

  • Benedict Bridgerton is a wealthy nobleman bound by strict class expectations about whom he can marry.
  • Sophie is of much lower status, working as a maid/servant in his social circle in both the books and the series adaptation.
  • The power gap between them (money, title, and employment) shapes how he thinks about what kind of relationship is “possible.”

His Main Reasons in the Story

  1. Class and reputation pressure
    • In the early 19th‑century setting, marrying a maid or illegitimate woman would damage a nobleman’s family reputation and social standing.
 * Benedict believes marrying Sophie outright would create scandal and hurt his family, so he looks for an option that lets him stay with her without risking his name.
  1. He sees “mistress” as a practical compromise
    • Historically, a nobleman’s mistress could be financially supported, housed, and even enjoy more comfort than a typical servant.
 * From Benedict’s perspective, offering Sophie the role of mistress is, misguidedly, a way to give her security, luxury, and his affection without openly defying class rules.

 * He convinces himself he is offering her a _better_ life than remaining a maid, not fully grasping how degrading and painful it feels to her.
  1. His emotional confusion and “two women” problem
    • In both the book An Offer From a Gentleman and the show, Benedict is torn between his lingering obsession with the mysterious “Lady in Silver” from the masquerade ball and the very real woman in front of him, Sophie.
 * Because he hasn’t yet recognized that Sophie and the Lady in Silver are the same person, he doesn’t let himself imagine a respectable marriage with her and relegates her to the category of lover/mistress instead of wife.
  1. Influence of other men and social examples
    • In some analyses of the show, Benedict sees other upper‑class men keeping lower‑class women as mistresses and treats that as a “model” for how to have a cross‑class relationship without marriage.
 * He copies that pattern, thinking it’s a clever workaround rather than recognizing the unequal power and lack of true respect built into it.

Why It Hurts Sophie So Much

  • Sophie’s mother was herself a maid who became a nobleman’s mistress, and Sophie grew up seeing the pain, shame, and instability that came with that role.
  • When Benedict repeats this pattern by asking her to be a mistress, it hits directly at her deepest fear: becoming exactly what her mother was and passing that stigma on to any children.
  • She refuses him because she values her dignity, does not want illegitimate children, and refuses to betray the kindness of the Bridgerton family by secretly sleeping with their son while on their payroll.

How Fans and Creators Explain It

  • Many viewers and readers see the offer as cruel, exposing Benedict’s privilege and blindness to Sophie’s vulnerability.
  • Julia Quinn and commentators have pointed out that, for a man of his rank in that era, offering “be my mistress” to a servant was sadly exactly the kind of thing that would happen, rather than him immediately considering marriage.
  • The scene is designed as a turning point: Sophie’s refusal forces Benedict to confront his prejudices and grow into a man who can choose marriage and equality instead of a convenient arrangement.

Bottom Line

Benedict asks Sophie to be his mistress because he is trapped between genuine love and rigid class rules, and he wrongly believes a hidden, unequal relationship is the only “realistic” way to keep her in his life. He sees it as protection and affection, but for Sophie it is a replay of her mother’s painful fate and a denial of the respect and legitimacy she deserves.

Information gathered from public forums or data available on the internet and portrayed here.