“What Can I Say?” is a 2022 nonfiction book by Catherine Newman, written as a practical social-skills guide mainly for kids around middle-school age (roughly 10+).

What the book is about

The full title is “What Can I Say?: A Kid’s Guide to Super-Useful Social Skills to Help You Get Along and Express Yourself; Speak Up, Speak Out, Talk about Hard Things, and Be a Good Friend.” It focuses on everyday communication problems: how to talk to people, handle awkward moments, and still be kind to yourself and others.

Key topics covered

The book is organized into short, fast-to-read chapters on social situations.

Typical chapters include:

  • How to meet, greet, and part
  • How to have a conversation
  • How to get along with people
  • How to deal with hard things
  • How to be in a romantic relationship (or not)
  • How to be supportive
  • How to be an ally
  • How to care for your community

Across these, it offers simple “scripts” and phrases kids can actually say in real life.

What makes it stand out

Readers and reviewers highlight a few big strengths:

  • Strong emphasis on empathy and basic human decency
  • Inclusive approach: using correct pronouns, being welcoming to people who are different, and standing up for marginalized groups
  • Concrete advice for hard situations: responding to offensive jokes, dealing with bullying, pushing back on prejudice, and turning gossip toward the truth
  • “I feel…” communication frames to avoid blaming language and reduce conflict

The tone is described as friendly, funny, and non-judgmental, with comic-style illustrations that make the content feel lighter and more approachable.

Who it’s for

While it’s marketed for middle-grade to young adult readers, many adults and educators say it works as a refresher on social skills for any age. It’s especially useful for:

  • Kids navigating middle school friendships and drama
  • Parents and teachers looking for language to coach kids
  • Anyone wanting “what do I actually say?” examples for tough conversations

One review sums up the core message as trying to be your “best self” while balancing your needs with other people’s, and ending with the reminder to be “a force of kindness” in your world.

Quick example of “what can I say?”

A typical pattern from the book is shifting from “You” to “I” language. For example, instead of “You’re so mean when you joke like that,” it might suggest something like: “I feel uncomfortable when jokes put other people down. Could we skip those?” This reflects the book’s focus on clear, assertive, but caring communication.

Bottom note: Information gathered from public forums or data available on the internet and portrayed here.